black hole

hello. it’s been a while, friends.   i think i’ve been afraid to visit this wide open space for some time. i have a lot to say, just not a lot of bravery to say it with. there have been a lot of stressors in my profession, my current living situation, and the grey area where the two meet.  … Read more →

tears

i just needed to cry. to let it out. to scream through tears and and a blotched face. to release something, anything, that resembles an emotion. lately, i haven’t been feeling those enough. here’s what happens when you try to force things out of me: i shut down. i get quiet. i get inside my head and remind myself that… Read more →

Finite

there is a storm happening right now.   i am cuddled under a million blankets, channeling my basic girl in leggings and a flannel, with christmas lights as a backdrop, and Ben Howard as an eardrop. its the perfect situation to take my restless mind and vomit it into the English language.   there is something about October, something so… Read more →

weekend inspiration 08.01

i was at a wedding a couple of weekends ago.

 

first, the bride walked down to the breaking of the fellowship. [right??!?!, how amazing]

 

second, this song was their first dance song

 

been on repeat since that amazing night.

 

[ love starts at 0:55 ]

 

keep shade, o summer ones

what my heart beats for

  i poured my heart over the last blog post. i fostered up thoughts i never knew existed until they were named.   what a catharsis – that night.   in the strange jazz of the quiet room, the rhythmic strokes of the keys hushed the fisting beats of my heart. when my fears were named, written, composed, they subsided. my anxiety was… Read more →

weekend inspiration 05.02

it’s supposed to be sunny and warm all weekend.

 

god bless my soul and my job.

 

with the nostalgia of graduation weekend hanging in the air [side note: has it really been a year?!?!?!], i have been rolling down the windows and listening to one of my favorites and the songs of my senior year.

 

the head and the heart. what lovelies they are.

 

 

 

[my heart stops at 0:43 every damn time]

 

make wise choices this weekend, anxious hearts.

darkness and sunrises

  sleep and writing. two precious freedoms that have been hiding their vitality from me.   honest truth. my life alternates – out cold for 16 hours and maybe a three-hour nap the next, between sleeping all day long and not sleeping at night; lying awake, counting down the hours til it is acceptable to go for a run. my moments are… Read more →

weekend inspiration 04.25

 

april showers don’t just bring may flowers

april showers should happen all the time.

 

been on repeat these sleepless nights

 

[start at 0:31]

 

Give me grace and give me peace

Through my pain and suffering.

Be a constant fire that draws me higher;

Burn up the despair that’s been sinking me.